#2750 Flatten the PlanetsWe'll turn the asteroid belt into ball bearings to go between different rings orbiting at different speeds.
#2751 March MadnessMy bracket has 76 trombones led by John Philip Sousa facing off against thousands of emperor penguins led by Morgan Freeman.
#2752 Salt DomeThe US uses hollowed-out salt domes to store the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, and non-hollowed-out ones to store the Strategic Salt Reserve.
#2753 Air HandlerIt maintains odor levels in a normal familiar range, so if you open the windows and the air gets too fresh, it filters it through some dirty laundry samples to compensate.
#2754 Relative TermsSmall sewing machines are sewing machines that are smaller than a sewing machine. A sewing machine is larger than a small sewing machine, but quieter than a loud sewing machine.
#2755 Effect SizeSubgroup analysis is ongoing.
#2756 Qualifications'So how DID you go from working at the employment records office to becoming president of MIT and CEO of IBM?' 'I guess I just have an eye for opportunities.'
#2757 Towed Message"Hi, what you do is fly over a designated zone and detach the--" "WE'RE SORRY, THE MOBILE CUSTOMER YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH IS OUT OF SERVICE"
#2758 My Favorite ThingsWhen an Ur guy / sells Nanni things / but the copper's bad, / He simply records his complaint for all time / "I got a bad deal / I'm maaaaad"
#2759 Easily Confused Acronyms'Lever' was originally an acronym for Load Emplification by the Vimulated Emission of Radiation.
#2760 Paleontology MuseumNowadays the only ones left that do anything are turtles.
#2761 1-to-1 ScaleThere's a version that shows the planets with no cropping, but it's hard to find a display that supports it.
#2762 Diffraction SpikesEven if a planet is lucky enough to have a stable orbit that weaves between the spikes, the seasons get weird whenever it passes close to them.
#2763 Linguistics GossipThe E's wedding invitation definitely used the word LOVE more times than was strictly necessary.
#2764 Cosmological Nostalgia ContentLater renouncing clickbait, Einstein called his inclusion of cosmological content in general relativity the biggest blunder of his career.
#2766 Helium ReserveThe government has been trying to sell off the Federal Helium Reserve for a few years now, but the sale has been on hold while they try to figure out how to explain this situation to buyers.
#2767 Recipe RelativityIt says to cut the onions into 1/4" slices, but I'd better correct for length contraction.
#2768 Definition of eYeah, my math teacher back in high school set up the system to try to teach us something or other, but the 100% rate was unbelievably good, so I engineered a hostile takeover of his bank and now use it to make extra cash on the side.
#2769 Overlapping Circles"The Venn diagram of the sun and the moon is a circle." --someone being snarky at totality
#2770 Tapetum LucidumUsing a reflective wall in a game to give one shot two chances to hit is called a double-tapetum lucidum.
#2771 College Knowledge'Your chitin armor is no match for our iron-tipped stingers! Better go hide in your jars!' --common playground taunt
#2772 Commemorative Plaque[Below] On this site on May 12th, 2023, I finally learned how to use the masonry bit for my drill.
#2773 Planetary ScientistThis rumpled fabric at the corner looks like evidence of ongoing tectonic activity.
#2774 TaxiingI don't understand why anyone would pay full price for a flatbed truck rental when you can buy 'DETOUR' signs online for like $10.
#2775 SiphonADDITIONAL NOTES: Fixed a bug that caused some rocks to generate virtually infinite heat while just sitting there.
![[Below] On this site on May 12th, 2023, I finally learned how to use the masonry bit for my drill.](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/2772/0.png)
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