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#1156 Conditioning 'Why are you standing in the yard wearing a papal hat and a robe covered in seeds?' 'Well, the Pope is visiting our town next month ...'
#1157 Sick Day Wikipedia path: Virus -> Immune system -> Innate immune system -> Parasites -> List of parasites of humans -> Naegleria fowleri -> Primary amoebic meningoencephalitis -> Deciding I DEFINITELY shouldn't connect an aquarium pump to my sinuses
#1158 Rubber Sheet It IS about physics. It ALL is.
#1159 Countdown For all we know, the odds are in our favor.
#1160 Drop Those Pounds If the flyers don't work, we'll switch to the LEAST subtle method of informing a town of the existence of a trebuchet club.
#1161 Hand Sanitizer Hipster CDC Reports Flu Epidemic Peaked Years Ago
#1162 Log Scale Knuth Paper-Stack Notation: Write down the number on pages. Stack them. If the stack is too tall to fit in the room, write down the number of pages it would take to write down the number. THAT number won't fit in the room? Repeat. When a stack fits, write the number of iterations on a card. Pin it to the stack.
#1163 Debugger It can take a site a while to figure out that there's a problem with their 'report a bug' form.
#1164 Home Alone Starring Macaulay Culkin.
#1165 Amazon Amazon.com took a surprise early lead with 'Time required to transport a package from Iquitos, Peru to Manaus, Brazil' but then lost it at 'Minutes to skeletonize a cow'.
#1166 Argument The misguided search for a perpetual motion machine has run substantially longer than any attempted perpetual motion machine.
#1167 Star Trek into Darkness Of course, factions immediately sprang up in favor of '~*~sTaR tReK iNtO dArKnEsS~*~', 'xX_StAr TrEk InTo DaRkNess_Xx', and 'Star Trek lnto Darkness' (that's a lowercase 'L').
#1168 tar I don't know what's worse--the fact that after 15 years of using tar I still can't keep the flags straight, or that after 15 years of technological advancement I'm still mucking with tar flags that were 15 years old when I started.
#1169 Expedition I'm pretty sure I've logged more hours in Google Maps over the past decade than in any game.
#1170 Bridge And it says a lot about you that when your friends jump off a bridge en masse, your first thought is apparently 'my friends are all foolish and I won't be like them' and not 'are my friends ok?'.
#1171 Perl Problems To generate #1 albums, 'jay --help' recommends the -z flag.
#1172 Workflow There are probably children out there holding down spacebar to stay warm in the winter! YOUR UPDATE MURDERS CHILDREN.
#1173 Steroids A human is a system for converting dust billions of years ago into dust billions of years from now via a roundabout process which involves checking email a lot.
#1174 App If I click 'no', I've probably given up on everything, so don't bother taking me to the page I was trying to go to. Just drop me on the homepage. Thanks.
#1175 Moving Sidewalks I think I could spend hours just stepping on and off of conveyor belts moving at various speeds.
#1176 Those Not Present 'Yeah, that squid's a total asshole.' [scoot scoot]!['Yeah, that squid's a total asshole.' [scoot scoot]](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1176/0.png)
#1177 Time Robot NO FATE BUT THE NARRATIVES WE IMPOSE ON LIFE'S RANDOM CHAOS TO DISTRACT OURSELVES FROM OUR EXISTENTIAL PLIGHT
#1178 Pickup Artists It sounds like a great way to make friends! Is it near that Friend Zone you keep talking about? I wanna go!
#1179 ISO 8601 ISO 8601 was published on 06/05/88 and most recently amended on 12/01/04.
#1180 Virus Venn Diagram Within five minutes of the Singularity appearing, somebody will suggest defragging it.
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