#1993 Fatal Crash RateFixating on this seems unhealty. But in general, the more likely I think a crash is, the less likely one becomes, which is a strange kind of reverse placebo effect.
#1994 RepairsI was just disassembling it over the course of five hours so it would fit in the trash more efficiently.
#1995 MC Hammer AgeWait, sorry, I got mixed up--he's actually almost 50. It's the kid from The Karate Kid who just turned 40.
#1996 Morning NewsSupport your local paper, unless it's just been bought by some sinister hedge fund or something, which it probably has.
#1997 Business UpdateOur customers keep sending us their personal information, even though we've repeatedly asked them to stop. The EU told me I'm the heir to some ancient European throne that makes me exempt from the GDPR, but we should probably still try to fix that.
#1998 GDPRBy clicking anywhere, scrolling, or closing this notification, you agree to be legally bound by the witch Sycorax within a cloven pine.
#1999 Selection EffectfMRI testing showed that subjects who don't agree to participate are much more likely to escape from the machine mid-scan.
#2000 xkcd Phone 2000Our retina display features hundreds of pixels per inch in the central fovea region.
#2001 Clickbait-Corrected p-ValueWhen comparing hypotheses with Bayesian methods, the similar 'clickbayes factor' can account for some harder-to-quantify priors.
#2002 LeBron James and Stephen CurryThe 538TR attempts to capture a player's combined skill at basketball (either real-life or NBA 2K18) and election forecasting.
#2003 Presidential SuccessionTies are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.
#2004 Sun and EarthBut we don't need to worry about the boiling masses sandwiching the thin layer in which we live, since we're so fragile and short-lived that it's unlikely to kill us before something else does! Wait, why doesn't that sound reassuring?
#2005 Attention SpanI didn't even realize they MADE a novelization of "Surf Ninjas." How did you-- Oh my god, it's signed by the author?!
#2006 Customer RewardsWe'll pay you $1.47 to post on social media about our products, $2.05 to mention it in any group chats you're in, and 11 cents per passenger each time you drive your office carpool past one of our billboards.
#2007 Brookhaven RHIC"Buddy, you trying to pull something? I can't buy this gold--all the electrons are missing. I could face serious charges!"
#2008 Irony DefinitionCan you stop glaring at me like that? It makes me feel really ironic.
#2009 Hertzsprung-Russell DiagramThe Hertzsprung-Russell diagram is located in its own lower right corner, unless you're viewing it on an unusually big screen.
#2010 Update Notesv3.0.2: Hey, if anyone still using this app is headed to the beach, can you stop at 4th and River St and grab the sunscreen from my car? Trunk should be unlocked. Thanks!
#2011 Newton's TrajectoriesWith just one extra line, he could have anticipated the 2003 film The Core, but some things are too audacious for even the greatest visionaries.
#2012 Thorough AnalysisThe likely shape of the bells was determined through consultation with several bellringing experts at the Tower of London. Transcripts of those interviews are available in Appendix VII.
#2013 RockIt traveled so far to reach me. I owed it my best.
#2014 JWST DelaysSince delays should get less likely closer to the launch, most astronomers in 2018 believed the expansion of the schedule was slowing, but by early 2020 new measurements indicated that it was actually accelerating.
#2015 New Phone ThreadI'm going to tell the manufacturer that their business practices are ADMIRABLE and ETHICAL and their developers are ATTRACTIVE and I'm going to report them to the FCC for their IMPECCABLE VIRTUE.
#2016 OEIS SubmissionsSUB[59]: The submission numbers for my accepted OEIS submissions in chronological order
#2017 Stargazing 2I mean, it wasn't exactly MY thesis. When the FAA came to shut down our observatory for using the telescope mirror to shine light at airplanes, I took a thesis and a bunch of doctorates from the supply cabinet on my way out.
![SUB[59]: The submission numbers for my accepted OEIS submissions in chronological order](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/2016/0.png)
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