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#2043 Boathouses and Houseboats The <x> that is held by <y> is also a <y><x>, so if you go to a food truck, the stuff you buy is truck food. A phone that's in your car is a carphone, and a car equipped with a phone is a phonecar. When you play a mobile racing game, you're in your phonecar using your carphone to drive a different phonecar. I'm still not sure about bananaphones.
#2044 Sandboxing Cycle All I want is a secure system where it's easy to do anything I want. Is that so much to ask?
#2045 Social Media Announcement Why I'm Moving Most of My Social Activity to Slack, Then Creating a Second Slack to Avoid the People in the First One, Then Giving Up on Social Interaction Completely, Then Going Back to Texting
#2046 Trum- Excited to vote for future presidents Bill Eisenhamper, Amy Forb, Ethan Obample, and Abigail Washingtoast.
#2047 Beverages If I wait a while, it's not so bad, because then it's just shaped like me, plus some pipes and tanks and probably eventually all of Earth's oceans.
#2048 Curve-Fitting Cauchy-Lorentz: "Something alarmingly mathematical is happening, and you should probably pause to Google my name and check what field I originally worked in."
#2049 Unfulfilling Toys We were going to do a falling-apart Rubik's cube that was just 27 independent blocks stuck together with magnets, but then we realized it was actually really cool and even kind of worked, so we cut that one.
#2050 6/6 Time You know how Einstein figured out that the speed of light was constant, and everything else had to change for consistency? My theory is like his, except not smart or good.
#2051 Bad Opinions I thought of another bad opinion! I couldn't find anyone who expressed it specifically, but still, the fact that I can so easily imagine it is infuriating! I'm gonna tell everyone about it!
#2052 Stanislav Petrov Day I was going to get you an alarm clock that occasionally goes off randomly in the middle of the night, but you can ignore it and go back to sleep and it's fine.
#2053 Incoming Calls I wonder if that friendly lady ever fixed the problem she was having with her headset.
#2054 Data Pipeline "Is the pipeline literally running from your laptop?" "Don't be silly, my laptop disconnects far too often to host a service we rely on. It's running on my phone."
#2055 Bluetooth Bluetooth is actually named for the tenth-century Viking king Harald "Bluetooth" Gormsson, but the protocol developed by Harald was a wireless charging standard unrelated to the modern Bluetooth except by name.
#2056 Horror Movies "Isn't the original Jurassic Park your favorite movie of all time?" "Yes, but that's because I like dinosaurs and I WANT there to be an island full of them. If John Hammond's lab had been breeding serial killers in creepy masks, I wouldn't have watched!" "Wait, are you sure? That could actually be good." "Ok, I WOULD watch the scenes where Jeff Goldblum tries to convince a bunch of executives that the park is a bad idea."
#2057 Internal Monologues Haha, just kidding, everyone's already been hacked. I wonder if today's the day we find out about it.
#2058 Rock Wall I don't trust mantle/core geologists because I suspect that, if they ever get a chance to peel away the Earth's crust, they'll do it in a heartbeat.
#2059 Modified Bayes' Theorem Don't forget to add another term for "probability that the Modified Bayes' Theorem is correct."
#2060 Hygrometer I'm working on assembling a combination declinometer, sclerometer, viscometer, aleurometer, stalagmometer, and hypsometer. I'm making good progress according to my ometerometer, a device which shows the rate at which I'm acquiring measurement devices.
#2061 Tectonics Game They're limiting the playtesters to type A3 V stars, so the games will all end before the Sun consumes the Earth.
#2062 Barnard's Star "Ok, team. We have a little under 10,000 years before closest approach to figure out how to destroy Barnard's Star." "Why, does it pose a threat to the Solar System?" "No. It's just an asshole."
#2063 Carnot Cycle The Carnot cycle is more properly known by its full title, the "Carnot-Tolkien-Wagner Ring Cycle."
#2064 I'm a Car I'm the proud parent of an honor student, and the person driving me is proud, too!
#2065 Who Sends the First Text? I sort of wish my texting app showed the percentage next to each person, but also sort of don't want to know.
#2066 Ballot Selfies There were actually some good reasons for those laws, but IMO they now do more harm than good. Which raises a question: If there's a ballot measure to strike them down, how can I resist the urge to take a picture of my "yes" vote?
#2068 Election Night "Even the blind—those who are anxious to hear, but are not able to see—will be taken care of. Immense megaphones have been constructed and will be in use at The Tribune office and in the Coliseum. The one at the Coliseum will be operated by a gentleman who draws $60 a week from Barnum & Bailey's circus for the use of his voice."
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