#2977 Three Kinds of ResearchThe secret fourth kind is 'we applied a standard theory to their map of every tree and got some suspicious results.'
#2978 StrandedAt least they're not alone down there.
#2979 Sky AlarmDuring the day it also activates for neat clouds and pretty sunsets.
#2980 Lava LakesHey, golf balls float on lava, so this should make recovering them from the hazards easier.
#2981 SlingshotsIn my reboot, Dennis the Menace was just trying to send Mr. Wilson a nice comet, but accidentally wiped out his dinosaur garden.
#2982 Water FiltrationYou'd think the most expensive part would be the quark-gluon plasma chamber, but it's actually usually the tube to the top of the atmosphere to carry the cosmic rays down.
#2983 MonocasterMy competitors say the tiny single tiny caster is unsafe, unstable, and offers no advantages over traditional designs, to which I say: wow, why are you guys so mean? I thought we were friends!
#2984 Asteroid NewsTheir calculations show it will 'pass within the distance of the moon' but that it 'will not hit the moon, so what's the point?'
#2985 CratersIt's annoying that the Nastapoka Arc isn't a meteor impact crater, but I truly believe that--with enough time, effort, and determination--we could make it one.
#2986 Every Scientific FieldConveniently for everyone, it turns out that dark energy is produced by subterranean parasitoid wasps.
#2987 Tectonic SurfingThe worst is when you wipe out in the barrel and you're trapped for several million years until erosion frees you.
#2988 Maslow's PyramidThe local police, building inspector, and fire marshal are all contesting my 'safety' assertion, or would be if they could reach me past all the traps.
#2989 Physics Lab ThermostatHopefully the HVAC people set it to only affect the AIR in the room.
#2990 Late CenozoicOur nucleic acid recovery techinques found a great deal of homo sapiens DNA incorporated into the fossils, particularly the ones containing high levels of resin, leading to the theory that these dinosaurs preyed on the once-dominant primates.
#2991 BeamsplittersUnder quantum tax law, photons sent through a beamsplitter don't actually choose which path they took, or incur a tax burden, until their wavefunction collapses when the power is sold.
#2992 UK CoalThe Watership Down rabbits removed an additional 0.1 nanometers constructing their warren, although that was mostly soil. British rabbits have historically mined very little coal; the sole rabbit-run coal plant was shut down in the 1990s.
#2993 IngredientsAdd main-belt asteroids to taste.
#2994 Númenor MargaritavilleI see white shores, and beyond it, a far green country under a tequila sunrise.
#2995 University CommasThe distinctive 'UCLA comma' and 'Michigan comma' are a long string of commas at the start and end of the sentence respectively.
#2996 CIDABMThere's a heated debate over whether the big island of Tierra del Fuego should qualify for membership.
#2997 Solar ProtonsIf any of you want to meet some cool local oxygen atoms, I can introduce you!
#2998 Ravioli-Shaped ObjectsIt's a real accomplishment to mess up a ravioli recipe badly enough that the resulting incident touches all four quadrants of the NFPA hazard diamond.
#2999 Bad Map Projection: The United StraliaThis projection distorts both area and direction, but preserves Melbourne.
#3000 Experimental AstrophysicsOur experiment will be expensive, but we believe it will produce important spin-offs, especially if we manage to hit the sun from the right angle.
#3001 Temperature ScalesIn my new scale, °X, 0 is Earths' record lowest surface temperature, 50 is the global average, and 100 is the record highest, with a linear scale between each point and adjustment every year as needed.
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