#702 Snow TrackingI suppose that's more accurately a hare dryer.
#703 Honor SocietiesHey, why do YOU get to be the president of Tautology Clu-- wait, I can guess.
#704 Principle of ExplosionYou want me to pick up waffle cones? Oh, right, for the wine. One sec, let me just derive your son's credit card number and I'll be on my way.
#705 Devotion to DutyThe weird sense of duty really good sysadmins have can border on the sociopathic, but it's nice to know that it stands between the forces of darkness and your cat blog's servers.
#706 FreedomSometimes I'm terrified to realize how many options other people have.
#707 JoshingYou'll be moved up from 49 of ~7 billion to 31 of ~7 billion.
#708 Sex DiceYou roll for initiative, and ... [roll] ... wow, do you ever take it.
#709 I AmGreat, LO-M. Do you speak Bocce? I'm supposed to find one that speaks Bocce.
#710 Collatz ConjectureThe Strong Collatz Conjecture states that this holds for any set of obsessively-hand-applied rules.
#711 SeismographThe reverse only works if the subject has a nervous twitch.
#712 Single LadiesUsing a ring to bind someone you covet into your dark and twisted world? Wow, just got the subtext there. Also, the apparently eager Beyoncé would've made one badass Nazgȗl.
#713 GeoIP'Meet hot young singles in your mom's basement today'? Man, screw you, GeoIP.
#714 Porn For WomenYes, there are a lot of longing looks across the bridge of Galactica first, but that's beside the point!
#715 NumbersThe typical internet user (who wants to share) has an IQ of 147 and a 9-inch penis. Well, better than the reverse, I guess.
#716 Time MachineWe never see any time travelers because they all discover it's a huge mistake. This is also why your friend at the lab suddenly looked about a year older recently.
#717 Furtive... go go gadget video camera. Go go gadget cup.
#718 The Flake EquationStatistics suggest that there should be tons of alien encounter stories, and in practice there are tons of alien encounter stories. This is known as Fermi's Lack-of-a-Paradox.
#719 Brain WormsHey, it says here that if you dream about your teeth falling out, it means they're spreading.
#720 RecipesTo be fair, the braised and confused newt on a bed of crushed Doritos turned out to be delicious.
#721 FlatlandAlso, I apologize for the time I climbed down into your world and everyone freaked out about the lesbian orgy overseen by a priest.
#722 Computer ProblemsThis is how I explain computer problems to my cat. My cat usually seems happier than me.
#723 Seismic WavesThe USGS operates a really neat email/SMS earthquake notification service (earthquake.usgs.gov/ens/) that allows fine-grained control of notifications.
#724 HellThere's also a Katamari level where everything is just slightly bigger than you, and a Mario level with a star just out of reach.
#725 LiterallyThe chemistry experiment had me figuratively -- and then shortly thereafter literally -- glued to my seat.
![You roll for initiative, and ... [roll] ... wow, do you ever take it.](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/708/0.png)
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