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#1386 People are Stupid To everyone who responds to everything by saying they've 'lost their faith in humanity': Thanks--I'll let humanity know. I'm sure they'll be crushed.
#1387 Clumsy Foreshadowing '... hosts were unexpectedly fired from ABC's 'The View' today. ABC will likely announce new ...'
#1388 Subduction License 'Dude, why can't you just be a normal roommate?' 'Because I'm coming TOWARD you!'
#1389 Surface Area This isn't an informational illustration; this is a thing I think we should do. First, we'll need a gigantic spool of thread. Next, we'll need some kind of ... hmm, time to head to Seattle.
#1390 Research Ethics I mean, it's not like we could just demand to see the code that's governing our lives. What right do we have to poke around in Facebook's private affairs like that?
#1391 Darkness This was actually wish #406. Wish #2 was for him to lose the ability to remember that each new wish wasn't my first.
#1392 Dominant Players When Vera Menchik entered a 1929 tournament, a male competitor mocked her by suggesting that a special 'Vera Menchik Club' would be created for any player who lost to her. When the tournament began, he promptly became the first member of said club, and over the years it accumulated a large and illustrious roster.
#1393 Timeghost 'Hello, Ghostbusters?' 'ooOOoooo people born years after that movie came out are having a second chiiiild right now ooOoooOoo'
#1394 Superm*n See also: Spider-Man reboot in which he can produce several inches of web, doesn't need as much chalk powder on his hands when he goes rock climbing, and occasionally feels vaguely uneasy about situations.
#1395 Power Cord In this situation, gzip /dev/inside to deflate, then pipe the compressed air to /dev/input to clean your keyboard. Avert your eyes when you do.
#1396 Actors Once again topping the list of tonight's hottest rising stars in Hollywood is ξ Persei!
#1397 Luke Don't turn it on.
#1398 Snake Facts Biologically speaking, what we call a 'snake' is actually a human digestive tract which has escaped from its host.
#1399 Chaos Although the oral exam for the doctorate was just 'can you do that weird laugh?'
#1400 D.B. Cooper 'Why on Earth would someone commit air piracy just to finance a terrible movie decades later?' 'People are very strange these days.'
#1401 New The nice thing about headcannnons is that it's really easy to get other people to believe in them.
#1402 Harpoons To motivate it to fire its harpoons hard enough, Rosetta's Philae lander has been programmed to believe it is trying to kill the comet.
#1403 Thesis Defense MY RESULTS ARE A SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT ON THE STATE OF THE AAAAAAAAAAAART
#1404 Quantum Vacuum Virtual Plasma I don't understand the things you do, and you therefore may represent an interaction with the quantum vacuum virtual plasma.
#1405 Meteor No, only LAVA is called 'magma' while underground. Any other object underground is called 'lava'.
#1406 Universal Converter Box Comes with a 50-lb sack of gender changers, and also an add-on device with a voltage selector and a zillion circular center pin DC adapter tips so you can power any of those devices from the 90s.
#1407 Worst Hurricane 'Finding a 105-year-old who's lived in each location and asking them which hurricane they think was the worst' is left as an exercise for the reader.
#1408 March of the Penguins You ARE getting older, though.
#1409 Query SELECT * FROM GHOSTS
#1410 California 58% of the state has gone into plaid.
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