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#1029 Drawing Stars Screw these 36-degree angles. I'm converting to Judaism.
#1030 Keyed I was sure he was just getting revenge, but then he did the same thing to Carrie Underwood. Then he mailed me a scone. I think I'm giving up dating.
#1031 s/keyboard/leopard/ Problem Exists Between Leopard And Chair
#1032 Networking Our company is agile and lean with a focus on the long tail. Ok, our company is actually a polecat I found in my backyard.
#1033 Formal Logic Note that this implies you should NOT honk solely because I stopped for a pedestrian and you're behind me.
#1034 Share Buttons The only post to achieve perfect balance between the four was a hilarious joke about Mark Zuckerberg getting caught using a pseudonym to sneak past the TSA.
#1035 Cadbury Eggs When they moved production from New Zealand to the UK and switched from the runny white centers to the thick, frosting-like filling, it got way harder to cook them scrambled.
#1036 Reviews I plugged in this lamp and my dog went rigid, spoke a sentence of perfect Akkadian, and then was hurled sideways through the picture window. Even worse, it's one of those lamps where the switch is on the cord.
#1038 Fountain Implausible, did you say? Sorry, couldn't quite hear you from all the way up heeeeeeeeere!
#1039 RuBisCO Bruce Schneier believes safewords are fundamentally insecure and recommends that you ask your partner to stop via public key signature.
#1040 Lakes and Oceans James Cameron has said that he didn't know its song would be so beautiful. He didn't close the door in time. He's sorry.
#1041 Whites of Their Eyes Don't fire until you see through the fragile facade to the human being within.
#1042 Never I'll never forget you--at least, the parts of you that were important red flags.
#1043 Ablogalypse Plus the reaction in the Tumblverse is always 'repeatedly get hit by a dog and fall down the stairs'.
#1044 Romney Quiz Charlie actually delivered the Medicare line almost verbatim in the 1971 movie's Fizzy Lifting Drink scene, but it was ultimately cut from the final release.
#1045 Constraints [title-text similarly alphabetized]![[title-text similarly alphabetized]](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1045/0.png)
#1046 Skynet 'YOUR CLOTHES. GIVE THEM TO ME.' 'Shit, uh ... you are now breathing manually!' 'I AM ALWAYS BREATHING MANUALLY.'
#1047 Approximations Two tips: 1) 8675309 is not just prime, it's a twin prime, and 2) if you ever find yourself raising log(anything)^e or taking the pi-th root of anything, set down the marker and back away from the whiteboard; something has gone horribly wrong.
#1048 Emotion Fortunately, the internet has a virtually inexhaustible supply of code that doesn't work and people who are wrong, which bodes well for a return to normalcy. [Note: Click to read context for the cancer comics. She's doing well.]![Fortunately, the internet has a virtually inexhaustible supply of code that doesn't work and people who are wrong, which bodes well for a return to normalcy. [Note: Click to read context for the cancer comics. She's doing well.]](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1048/0.png)
#1049 Bookshelf I had a hard time with Ayn Rand because I found myself enthusiastically agreeing with the first 90% of every sentence, but getting lost at 'therefore, be a huge asshole to everyone.'
#1050 Forgot Algebra The only things you HAVE to know are how to make enough of a living to stay alive and how to get your taxes done. All the fun parts of life are optional.
#1051 Visited I hate when I read something like '... tension among the BASE jumpers nearly led to wingsuit combat ...', and I get excited because 'wingsuit combat' is underlined, only to find that it's just separate links to the 'wingsuit' and 'combat' articles.
#1052 Every Major's Terrible Someday I'll be the first to get a Ph. D in 'Undeclared'.
#1053 Ten Thousand Saying 'what kind of an idiot doesn't know about the Yellowstone supervolcano' is so much more boring than telling someone about the Yellowstone supervolcano for the first time.
#1054 The bacon Normally pronounced 'THEH-buh-kon', I assume.
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