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#1055 Kickstarter If you pledge more than $50 you'll get on the VIP list and have first dibs on a slot on ANY of the pledge levels in the actual campaign.
#1056 Felidae 'Smilodon fatalis' narrowly edged out 'Tyrannosaurus rex' to win this year's Most Badass Latin Names competition, after edging out 'Dracorex hogwartsia' and 'Stygimoloch spinifer' (meaning 'horned dragon from the river of death') in the semifinals.
#1057 Klout Though please do confirm that it's actually *me* on Klout first, and not one of my friends trying to get me punched. The great thing about this douchebag deadman switch is that I will never dare trigger it.
#1058 Old-Timers You were on the internet before I was born? Well, so was I.
#1059 Bel-Air Aaron Sorkin has been tapped to write the TV movie about the aging prince's eventual election to Pat Toomey's Senate seat, currently titled either 'FRESHman Senator' or 'Mr. Smith Goes to Washington'.
#1060 Crowdsourcing We don't sell products; we sell the marketplace. And by 'sell the marketplace' we mean 'play shooters, sometimes for upwards of 20 hours straight.'
#1061 EST The month names are the same, except that the fourth month only has the name 'April' in even-numbered years, and is otherwise unnamed.
#1062 Budget News I will vote, no questions asked, for any candidate who describes themselves as 'more of a deficit sugar glider.'
#1063 Kill Hitler Revised directive: It is forbidden for you to interfere with human history until you've at least taken a class on it.
#1064 Front Door FYI: I'll be releasing a wolf into a randomly-chosen front yard sometime in the next 30 years. Now your fear is reasonable, and you don't need to feel embarrassed anymore. Problem solved!
#1065 Shoes I *do* hear that they're the most comfortable thing to wear on your feet since sliced bread.
#1066 Laundry During the second semester, the path is briefly routed through the dishwasher.
#1067 Pressures Everyone's caught by surprise when a theory of quantum gravity is developed by a sound technician wearing patent leather shoes while editing Clerks II.
#1068 Swiftkey Although the Markov chain-style text model is still rudimentary; it recently gave me "Massachusetts Institute of America". Although I have to admit it sounds prestigious.
#1069 Alphabet Do I get to remove letters entirely? Or just rearrange them? Because the 'k/c' situation is ridiculous. Look, we can make out whenever. This is *immortality*!
#1070 Words for Small Sets If things are too quiet, try asking a couple of friends whether "a couple" should always mean "two". As with the question of how many spaces should go after a period, it can turn acrimonious surprisingly fast unless all three of them agree.
#1071 Exoplanets Planets are turning out to be so common that to show all the planets in our galaxy, this chart would have to be nested in itself--with each planet replaced by a copy of the chart--at least three levels deep.
#1072 Seventies Hey, man, the 1670s called. They were like 'Wherefore this demonic inſtrument? By what ſorcery does it produce ſuch ſounds?"
#1073 Weekend Of the two Garfields, you wouldn't think the cat would turn out to be the more compelling presidential speechwriter, but there you go.
#1074 Moon Landing Ok, so Spirit and Opportunity are pretty awesome. And Kepler. And New Horizons, Cassini, Curiosity, TiME, and Project M. But c'mon, if the Earth were a basketball, in 40 years no human's been more than half an inch from the surface.
#1075 Warning Also possibly several miles beyond that.
#1076 Groundhog Day If you closely examine the cosmic background radiation, you can pick up lingering echoes of 'I Got You Babe'.
#1077 Home Organization Lifehacking!
#1078 Knights 1. Nf3 ... ↘↘↘ 2. Nc3 ... ↘↘↘ 0-1
#1079 United Shapes That eggplant is in something of a flaccid state.
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