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#1080 Visual Field I recently learned something that solved a mystery that had bugged me since childhood--why, when I looked at an analog clock, the hand would sometimes seem to take a couple seconds to start ticking. Google "stopped clock illusion".
#1081 Argument Victory Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.
#1082 Geology That's a gneiss butte.
#1083 Writing Styles I liked the idea, suggested by h00k on bash.org, of a Twitter bot that messages prominent politicians to tell them when they've unnecessarily used sms-speak abbreviations despite having plenty of characters left.
#1084 Server Problem Protip: Annoy Ray Kurzweil by always referring to it as the 'Cybersingularity'.
#1085 ContextBot If you read all vaguebooking/vaguetweeting with the assumption that they're saying everything they can without revealing classified military information, the internet gets way more exciting.
#1086 Eyelash Wish Log Ooh, another one. Uh ... the ability to alter any coefficients of friction at will during sporting events.
#1087 Cirith Ungol My all-time favorite example of syntactic ambiguity comes from Wikipedia: 'Charlotte's Web is a children's novel by American author E. B. White, about a pig named Wilbur who is saved from being slaughtered by an intelligent spider named Charlotte.'
#1088 Five Years 'Well, no further questions. You're hired!' 'Oh, sorry! I'm no longer interested. There's a bunch of future I gotta go check out!'
#1089 Internal Monologue Oh right, eye contact. Ok, good, holding the eye contact ... holding ... still holding ... ok, too long! Getting weird! Quick, look thoughtfully into space and nod. Oh, dammit, said 'yeah' again!
#1090 Formal Languages [audience looks around] 'What just happened?' 'There must be some context we're missing.'![[audience looks around] 'What just happened?' 'There must be some context we're missing.'](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1090/0.png)
#1091 Curiosity As of this writing the NASA/JPL websites are still overloaded. Trying CURIOSITY-REAR-CAM_[256px_x_256px].torrent.SwEsUb.DVDRip.XviD-aXXo.jpg instead.![As of this writing the NASA/JPL websites are still overloaded. Trying CURIOSITY-REAR-CAM_[256px_x_256px].torrent.SwEsUb.DVDRip.XviD-aXXo.jpg instead.](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1091/0.png)
#1092 Michael Phelps [shortly] ... he ate ALL of it!?![[shortly] ... he ate ALL of it!?](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1092/0.png)
#1093 Forget 'Baby Got Back' turned 20 this year. My favorite nostalgia show is VH1's 'I Love The Inexorable March of Time Toward the Grave That Awaits Us All.'
#1094 Interview Hey, before you go, can you explain to me what job I now have?
#1095 Crazy Straws The new crowd is heavily shaped by this guy named Eric, who's basically the Paris Hilton of the amateur plastic crazy straw design world.
#1096 Clinically Studied Ingredient Blatantly banking on customers not understanding that it's like a Hollywood studio advertising that their new movie was 'watched by Roger Ebert'.
#1097 A Hypochondriac's Nightmare BUT WHAT IF I REASSURE MYSELF WITH A JOKE AND THEN DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE RASH AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE DEATH MITES AND I COULD HAVE CAUGHT IT
#1098 Star Ratings I got lost and wandered into the world's creepiest cemetery, where the headstones just had names and star ratings. Freaked me out. When I got home I tried to leave the cemetery a bad review on Yelp, but as my hand hovered over the 'one star' button I felt this distant chill ...
#1099 Tuesdays Try our bottomless drinks and fall forever!
#1100 Vows So, um. Do you want to get a drink after the game?
#1101 Sketchiness factory --- spire --- onslaught --- extractor --- judge
#1102 Fastest-Growing I lead a small but extraordinarily persuasive religion whose only members are door-to-door proselytizers from other faiths.
#1103 Nine FYI: If you get curious and start trying to calculate the time adjustment function that minimizes the gap between the most-used and least-used digit (for a representative sample of common cook times) without altering any time by more than 10%, and someone asks you what you're doing, it's easier to just lie.
#1104 Feathers Click to see a video of a modern bird using stability flapping during predatory behavior. It all fits! Also, apparently Microraptor had *four* wings? The past keeps getting cooler! (And there's more of it every day!)
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