#2952 Routine MaintenanceThe worst was the time they accidentally held the can upside down and froze all the Earth's magma chambers solid.
#2953 Alien TheoriesThey originally came here to try to investigate our chemtrail technology, and got increasingly frustrated when all their samples turned out to just be water ice with trace amounts of jet exhaust.
#2954 Bracket Symbols’"‘”’" means "I edited this text on both my phone and my laptop before sending it"
#2955 Pole VaultUgh, and we JUST went through this yesterday with javelin.
#2956 Number Line BranchAttention all passengers: This is an express sequence to infinity. If your stop is not a power of two, please disembark now.
#2957 A Crossword PuzzleHint: If you ever encounter this puzzle in a crossword app, just [term for someone with a competitive and high-achieving personality].
#2958 HatcheryAnadromous fish are more vulnerable in rivers, since the lack of salt means you can quickly crack passwords using rainbow trout tables.
#2959 Beam of LightEinstein's theories solved a longstanding mystery about Mercury: Why it gets so hot. "It's because," he pointed out, "the sun is right there."
#2960 Organ MeaningsIMO the thymus is one of the coolest organs and we should really use it in metaphors more.
#2961 CrowdStrikeWe were going to try swordfighting, but all my compiling is on hold.
#2962 President Venn DiagramHard to imagine political rhetoric more microtargeted at me than 'I love Venn diagrams. I really do, I love Venn diagrams. It's just something about those three circles.'
#2963 House Inputs and OutputsPeople think power over ethernet is so great, and yet when I try to do water over ethernet everyone yells at me.
#2964 Olympic SportsThankfully for everyone involved, the Winter Olympics officials spotted me and managed to stop me before I got to the ski jump.
#2965 Chili Tornado QuakeBuildings constructed from softer materials were damaged by chili pepper impacts to the storm's high Richter-Fujita-Scoville-Mohs hardness rating.
#2966 Exam NumbersCalligraphy exam: Write down the number 37, spelled out, nicely.
#2967 MatterHe was the first person to land a 900, which is especially impressive because pulling off a half-integer spin requires obeying Fermi-Dirac statistics.
#2968 University AgeThis only makes it more urgent that we adopt my roadmap for the next 10 years, which should put us solidly in the lead.
#2969 Vice President First Names[Political pundit on the ScrabbleTV News channel] "After four years of defying orthographic pressure, Joe ceded the top of the ticket to Kamala, who--after considering Josh, Mark, Andy, Roy, and Pete--picked Tim."
#2970 Meteor Shower PSAIf you hold the meteor too long, it may imprint on you and form a contact binary, making reintroduction to space difficult.
#2971 Celestial EventIf we can get a brood of 13-year cicadas going, we might have a chance at making this happen before the oceans evaporate under the expanding sun.
#2972 Helium SynthesisOur lawyers were worried because it turns out the company inherits its debt from the parent universe, but luckily cosmic inflation reduced it to nearly zero.
#2973 Ferris WheelsThey left the belt drive in place but switched which wheel was powered, so people could choose between a regular ride, a long ride, and a REALLY long ride.
#2974 Storage TanksWe're considering installing a pressurization system to keep the tanks at constant pressure solely to deter them.
#2975 Classical Periodic TablePersonally I think mercury is more of a 'wet earth' hybrid element.
#2976 Time Traveler Causes of DeathMany a hungry time traveler has Googled 'trilobites shellfish allergy' only to find their carrier had no coverage in the Ordovician.
![Hint: If you ever encounter this puzzle in a crossword app, just [term for someone with a competitive and high-achieving personality].](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/2957/0.png)
![[Political pundit on the ScrabbleTV News channel] "After four years of defying orthographic pressure, Joe ceded the top of the ticket to Kamala, who--after considering Josh, Mark, Andy, Roy, and Pete--picked Tim."](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/2969/0.png)
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