#477 TypewriterSomewhere in the world, my actual grandmothers are reading this and angrily exclaiming that I never write even malformed thank-you notes. DEAR GRANDMOMS: I AM SORRY! YOU ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. LOVE reddit.com RANDALL.
#478 The Staple MadnessStaple guns: because duct tape can't make that 'kaCHUNK' noise.
#479 TonesI need a lawn, so I can yell at kids to stay off it.
#480 SporeWay to not support the GMA 950 under OS X, Spore. :(
#481 Listen to YourselfMan, I just wanted to know how babby was formed.
#482 HeightInterestingly, on a true vertical log plot, I think the Eiffel Tower's sides really would be straight lines.
#483 Fiction Rule of ThumbExcept for anything by Lewis Carroll or Tolkien, you get five made-up words per story. I'm looking at you, Anathem.
#484 Flash GamesAlthough ... who else can't wait for them to incorporate that Wiimote head-tracking stuff into games? Man, the future's gonna be *awesome*.
#485 DepthThe Planck length is another thousand or two pixels below the comic.
#486 I am Not a Ninja'The sad thing is that I just wanted to talk about your poor smoke-bomb techniques.'
#487 Numerical Sex PositionsWe didn't even get to the continued fractions!
#488 Steal This ComicI spent more time trying to get an audible.com audio book playing than it took to listen to the book. I have lost every other piece of DRM-locked music I have paid for.
#489 Going WestListen, they request that you stop submitting a listing for your house labeled 'WHERE YOU BROKE MY HEART'.
#490 Morning RoutineI had a really hard time not writing '... profit!'
#491 TwitterIf long tooltips / cut off for you / then upgrade from / Firefox 2 / Burma Shave
#492 ScrabbleA veteran Scrabble player will spot the 'OSTRICH' option.
#493 ActuarialI started to do the tables for more famous people but it got really depressing and morbid and I had to go outside. Hat guy wins again.
#494 Secretary: Part 1The blueprints for the Department of the Internet offices call for Ceiling Cat-themed sprinkler heads.
#495 Secretary: Part 2That helmet won't save him.
#496 Secretary: Part 3He actually installed each piece in a different car in the lot, then built a new car in the spot from the displaced pieces. It's a confusing maneuver known as the auto-troll shuffle.
#497 Secretary: Part 4It's time to draw the line.
#498 Secretary: Part 5And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
#499 ScantronAlso, after all the warnings about filling in the bubbles completely, I spent like 30 seconds on each one.
#500 ElectionSomeday I'll be rich enough to hire Nate Silver to help make all my life decisions. 'Should I sleep with her?' 'Well, I'm showing a 35% chance it will end badly.'
#501 Faust 2.0The only blood these contracts are signed in is from me cutting my hand trying to open the goddamn CD case.
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