#1258 FirstFortunately, exactly zero other annoying internet behaviors have developed during this time.
#1259 Bee OrchidIn sixty million years aliens will know humans only by a fuzzy clip of a woman in an Axe commercial.
#1260 LD50The dose is much lower when administered orally. We're still trying to get the paper into the needles for subcutaneous injection.
#1261 Shake ThatHow do I work it? IT'S ALREADY WORKING!
#1262 UnquoteI guess it's a saying from the Old Country.
#1263 Reassuring'At least humans are better at quietly amusing ourselves, oblivious to our pending obsolescence' thought the human, as a nearby Dell Inspiron contentedly displayed the same bouncing geometric shape screensaver it had been running for years.
#1264 SlideshowPoints to anyone who hacks the Flickr devs' computers to make their text editors do this when you click on anything.
#1265 JuicerBut the rind is where all the vitamins are!
#1266 Halting ProblemI found a counterexample to the claim that all things must someday die, but I don't know how to show it to anyone.
#1267 Mess'Sorry, I left out my glass of water from last night.' OH GOD I APPARENTLY LIVE IN A GARBAGE PIT.
#1268 Alternate UniverseAs best as I can tell, I was transported here from Earth Prime sometime in the late 1990s. Your universe is identical in every way, except for the lobster thing and the thing where some of you occasionally change your clocks for some reason.
#1269 Privacy OpinionsI'm the Philosopher until someone hands me a burrito.
#1270 FunctionalFunctional programming combines the flexibility and power of abstract mathematics with the intuitive clarity of abstract mathematics.
#1271 HighlightingAnd if clicking on any word pops up a site-search for articles about that word, I will close all windows in a panic and never come back.
#1272 Shadowfacts'Look to my coming on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.' 'And look to the west to see our shadows!'
#1273 Tall Infographics'Big Data' doesn't just mean increasing the font size.
#1274 Open LetterAre you ok? Do you need help?
#1275 int(pi)If replacing all the '3's doesn't fix your code, remove the 4s, too, with 'ceiling(pi) / floor(pi) * pi * r^floor(pi)'. Mmm, floor pie.
#1276 Angular SizeIf the celestial sphere were mapped to the Earth's surface, astronomy would get a LOT easier; you'd just need a magnifying glass.
#1277 Ayn RandomIn a cavern deep below the Earth, Ayn Rand, Paul Ryan, Rand Paul, Ann Druyan, Paul Rudd, Alan Alda, and Duran Duran meet together in the Secret Council of /(b[plurandy]+b ?){2}/i.
#1278 GiraffesIf you fund my Kickstarter ...
#1279 Reverse Identity TheftI asked a few friends whether they'd had this happen, then looked up the popularity of their initials/names over time. Based on those numbers, it looks like there must be at least 750,000 people in the US alone who think 'Sure, that's probably my email address' on a regular basis.
#1280 Mystery NewsIf you find and stop the video, but you've--against all odds--gotten curious about the trade summit, just leave the tab opened. It will mysteriously start playing again 30 minutes later!
#1281 MinifigsThe LEGO Group is already the world's largest tire manufacturer.
#1282 Monty HallA few minutes later, the goat from behind door C drives away in the car.
![In a cavern deep below the Earth, Ayn Rand, Paul Ryan, Rand Paul, Ann Druyan, Paul Rudd, Alan Alda, and Duran Duran meet together in the Secret Council of /(b[plurandy]+b ?){2}/i.](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1277/0.png)
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