#2397 I Just Don't Trust ThemI believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.
#2398 Vaccine Tracker*refresh* Aww, still in Kalamazoo. *refresh* Aww, still in Kalamazoo.
#2399 2020 Election MapThere are more Trump voters in California than Texas, more Biden voters in Texas than New York, more Trump voters in New York than Ohio, more Biden voters in Ohio than Massachusetts, more Trump voters in Massachusetts than Mississippi, and more Biden voters in Mississippi than Vermont.
#2400 StatisticsWe reject the null hypothesis based on the 'hot damn, check out this chart' test.
#2401 ConjunctionThe IAU is sad to announce that at 00:39 UTC on December 22nd, Jupiter and Saturn did unfortunately come into contact, and appear to have blooped together.
#2402 Into My Veins"Okay, for the last time, the shot is free, so we can't--" "Shut up and take my money!"
#2403 Wrapping PaperWow, rude of you to regift literally every gift that you or anyone else has ever received.
#2404 First ThingThen I'm going to go on a weeks-long somatic hypermutation bender, producing ever-more targeted antibodies, while I continue to remain distanced and follow guidance from public health authorities.
#2405 Flash GatsbyProtip: At midnight your excuse for not having read The Great Gatsby can switch from "I'm worried about violating copyright" to "I think my copy requires Flash."
#2406 Viral Vector ImmunityWe've secretly replaced this customer's instant coffee with our patented substitute. Let's see what she ... uh oh, I think she spotted us through the window. Now she's getting something from the closet ... oh jeez, she has a sword! Run!!
#2407 Depth and BreadthA death-first search is when you lose your keys and travel to the depths of hell to find them, and then if they're not there you start checking your coat pockets.
#2408 Egg StrategiesNeutral Evil is for people who like keeping the weight nicely centered in the carton, but also hate everyone else who wants that.
#2409 Steepen the Curve1. Flatten the curve. 2. Steepen the curve. 3. Hang out.
#2410 Apple GrowersHopefully in a couple of weeks we'll be able to resume our apple-focused updates, because we have SO MUCH to say about Cosmic Crisp.
#2411 1/10,000th Scale WorldOCEAN PLAY AREA RULES: No running, no horseplay, no megatsunamis, and no trying to pry the wreck of the Titanic off the bottom.
#2412 1/100,000th Scale WorldThe floor should be slightly curved, but we haven't figured out artificial gravity yet, so for now we just added a trace intoxicating gas to the air that messes with your inner ear and gives you a sense that the ground is tilting away from you.
#2413 Pulsar AnalogyThe #2 cause of astronomer hand injuries is trying to do vector math when the second axis points off to the right.
#2414 Solar System Compression ArtifactsMost of our universe consists of dark matter rendered completely undetectable by our spacetime codec's dynamic range issues.
#2415 Allow CaptchaTo prove you're human, please click all the number pairs that appear together in your Social Security number.
#2416 Trash Compactor PartyWhat an incredible smell you've discovered.
#2417 1/1,000th Scale WorldWe're worried that a regular whale will get into a 30-foot-deep ocean trench section and filter-feed on all the tiny whales.
#2418 MetacarcinizationScientists still don't know how marine biologists manage to so consistently bring up whalefall ecosystems, when relevant conversational openings are so few and far between.
#2419 Hug CountI've never been that big of a hug person, but it turns out I'm not quite this small of a hug person either.
#2420 AppliancesIf you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.
#2421 Tower of BabelSoon, linguists will be wandering around everywhere, saying things like "colorless green ideas sleep furiously" and "more people have been to Russia than I have," and speech will become unintelligible.
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