#276 Fixed WidthI wish I knew how to quit this so I wouldn't have to quit you.
#277 Long LightYou can look at practically any part of anything manmade around you and think 'some engineer was frustrated while designing this.' It's a little human connection.
#278 Black Hat SupportSo as not to leave you hanging -- it was a problem with select() calls.
#279 Pickup LinesThat shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window. Let's fucking do it and never look back.
#280 LibrariansDon't expect any leniency on late fees, though.
#281 Online Package TrackingI don't even *want* this package! Why did I join the stinging insect of the month club, anyway?
#282 Organic FuelI have nothing to apologize for.
#283 ProjectionOut in a field, not another car for miles, silence but for the rain drumming on the sunroof, warm thick folds of the blanket hiding wordless fingertip games ...
#284 Tape MeasureThis sequence was later reproduced in the International Tape-Extending Federation archives, retitled 'The Founding of the Sport'.
#285 Wikipedian ProtesterSEMI-PROTECT THE CONSTITUTION
#286 All Your BaseThe AYB retro-return-date (Zero Wing Zero Hour) should be around AD 2021.
#287 NP-CompleteGeneral solutions get you a 50% tip.
#288 ElevatorQuick, try it with 'LOVE'.
#289 AloneWorries assuaged, the numbers become less important than your touches.
#290 Fucking Blue ShellsYou can evade blue shells in Double Dash, but it is deep magic.
#291 Dignified'I don't know, why is your beret staying on your head?' 'Staples.'
#292 gotoNeal Stephenson thinks it's cute to name his labels 'dengo'
#293 RTFMLife is too short for man pages, but occasionally much too short without them.
#294 BookstoreYou can search it if you want, but you may want to skip the memories of your mom.
#295 DNEI've seen advertisers put their URLs on chalkboards, encircled with a DNE. They went unerased for months. If you see this, feel free to replace the URL with xkcd.com.
#296 Tony HawkBad idea #271: Dropping into the half-pipe on a Segway.
#297 Lisp CyclesI've just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the MIT computer science program permanently.
#298 Tesla CoilFor scientists, this can be the hardest thing about dreams.
#299 Aeris DiesIt's bad enough that all the families in your Sims are just you and Maggie recreated over and over.
#300 Facebook'Here, I'll put my number in your cell pho -- wait, why is it already here?'
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