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#878 Model Rail I don't know what's more telling--the number of pages in the Wikipedia talk page argument over whether the 1/87.0857143 scale is called "HO" or "H0", or the fact that within minutes of first hearing of it I had developed an extremely strong opinion on the issue.
#879 Lamp 'That was definitely not in my top three wishes.' 'Who said anything about YOUR wishes?'
#880 Headache I'm only willing to visit placid lakes, salt flats, and painting exhibits until the world's 3D technology improves.
#881 Probability My normal approach is useless here, too.
#882 Significant 'So, uh, we did the green study again and got no link. It was probably a--' 'RESEARCH CONFLICTED ON GREEN JELLY BEAN/ACNE LINK; MORE STUDY RECOMMENDED!'
#883 Pain Rating If it were a two or above I wouldn't be able to answer because it would mean a pause in the screaming.
#884 Rogers St. 'We can also use middle names in place of first pet's names, but yours is something incomprehensible about dropping tables.'
#885 Recycling And given how much of my stuff they go through, they definitely know where I live.
#886 Craigslist Apartments $1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN.
#887 Future Timeline Not shown: the approximately 30,000 identical, vaguely hysterical articles titled "WHITE PEOPLE IN [THE US/BRITAIN] TO BECOME MINORITY BY [YEAR]!", which came up for basically any year I put in.![Not shown: the approximately 30,000 identical, vaguely hysterical articles titled "WHITE PEOPLE IN [THE US/BRITAIN] TO BECOME MINORITY BY [YEAR]!", which came up for basically any year I put in.](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/887/0.png)
#888 Heaven If you've never had sex, this is what it feels like. Complete with the brief feeling of satisfaction, followed by ennui, followed by getting bored and trying to make it happen again.
#889 Turtles You're a turtle!
#890 Etymology For some reason, my childhood suspension of disbelief had no problem with the fact that this ancient galaxy is full of humans, but was derailed by language. There's no Asia OR Europe there, so where'd they get all the Indo-European roots?
#891 Movie Ages If you're 15 or younger, then just remember that it's nevertheless probably too late to be a child prodigy.
#892 Null Hypothesis Hell, my eighth grade science class managed to conclusively reject it just based on a classroom experiment. It's pretty sad to hear about million-dollar research teams who can't even manage that.
#893 65 Years The universe is probably littered with the one-planet graves of cultures which made the sensible economic decision that there's no good reason to go into space--each discovered, studied, and remembered by the ones who made the irrational decision.
#894 Progeny I tell my children 'it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.' I'm trying to take the edge off their competitive drive to ensure that I can always beat them.
#895 Teaching Physics Space-time is like some simple and familiar system which is both intuitively understandable and precisely analogous, and if I were Richard Feynman I'd be able to come up with it.
#896 Marie Curie Although not permanently.
#897 Elevator Inspection Even governmental elevator inspectors get bored halfway through asking where the building office is.
#898 Chain of Command Themistocles said his infant son ruled all Greece -- "Athens rules all Greece; I control Athens; my wife controls me; and my infant son controls her." Thus, nowadays the world is controlled by whoever buys advertising time on Dora the Explorer.
#899 Number Line The Wikipedia page "List of Numbers" opens with "This list is incomplete; you can help by expanding it."
#900 Religions But to us there is but one God, plus or minus one. --1 Corinthians 8:6±2.
#901 Temperature And the baby has a fever.
#902 Darmok and Jalad I wonder how often Patrick Stewart has Darmok flashbacks when talking to Star Trek fans.
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