#1003 Adam and EveAbel and Steve would've been fine! I like Steve!
#1004 BatmanI'm really worried Christopher Nolan will kill a man dressed like a bat in his next movie. (The man will be dressed like a bat, I mean. Christopher Nolan won't be, probably.)
#1006 Sloppier Than FictionRoger Ebert once called you directionless and unwatchable.
#1007 SustainableThough 100 years is longer than a lot of our resources.
#1008 SuckvilleSuckville is considered by the Census Bureau to be part of the Detroit metropolitan statistical area, despite not being located anywhere near Detroit.
#1009 SighIf you're annoying enough, you can get them to respond with an involuntary second sigh and get a rhythm going.
#1010 Etymology-Man'I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish Aquaman were here instead--HE'D be able to help.'
#1011 Baby NamesI've been trying for a couple years now but I haven't been able to come up with a name dumber than 'Renesmee'.
#1012 Wrong SuperheroHi! Someone call for me? I'm a superhero who specializes in the study of God's creation of Man in the Book of Genesi-- HOLY SHIT A GIANT BUG!
#1013 Wake Up SheepleYou will be led to judgement like lambs to the slaughter--a simile whose existence, I might add, will not do your species any favors.
#1014 Car ProblemsOr if you replace your car, we'll be happy to set it on fire again so you can take another crack at getting that shot.
#1015 KerningI have never been as self-conscious about my handwriting as when I was inking in the caption for this comic.
#1016 Valentine DilemmaThe worst resolution to the Valentine Prisoner's Dilemma when YOU decide not to give your partner a present but your PARTNER decides to testify against you in the armed robbery case.
#1017 Backward in TimePeople tell me I have too much time on my hands, but really the problem is that there's too much time, PERIOD.
#1018 Good Cop, Dadaist CopNOW INVENT AN IMPOSSIBLE-TO-TRANSLATE LANGUAGE AND USE IT TO TELL US WHERE THE MONEY IS.
#1019 First Post'Nuh-uh! We let users vote on comments and display them by number of votes. Everyone knows that makes it impossible for a few persistent voices to dominate the discussion.'
#1020 Orion NebulaAlso on the agenda: what's with his hips?
#1021 Business PlanThe investor elevator pitch is "Wheeeeeeee! Elevators are fun!"
#1022 So It Has Come To This'Come to what?' 'You. Me. This moment.'
#1023 Late-Night PBSThen it switched to these old black-and-white tapes of Bob Ross slumped against the wall of an empty room, painting the least happy trees you've ever seen. Either PBS needs to beef up studio security or I need to stop using Ambien to sleep.
#1024 Error CodeIt has a section on motherboard beep codes that lists, for each beep pattern, a song that syncs up well with it.
#1025 TumblrDot Tumblr Dot Com, on the other hand, would be an awful name for a band, if only because of how hard it would be to direct people to your band's website.
#1026 Compare and ContrastFrankly, I see no difference between thee and a summer's day. Only Ron Paul offers a TRUE alternative!
#1027 Pickup ArtistSon, don't try to play 'make you feel bad' with the Michael Jordan of making you feel bad.
#1028 CommunicationAnyone who says that they're great at communicating but 'people are bad at listening' is confused about how communication works.
Commentaires