#1386 People are StupidTo everyone who responds to everything by saying they've 'lost their faith in humanity': Thanks--I'll let humanity know. I'm sure they'll be crushed.
#1387 Clumsy Foreshadowing'... hosts were unexpectedly fired from ABC's 'The View' today. ABC will likely announce new ...'
#1388 Subduction License'Dude, why can't you just be a normal roommate?' 'Because I'm coming TOWARD you!'
#1389 Surface AreaThis isn't an informational illustration; this is a thing I think we should do. First, we'll need a gigantic spool of thread. Next, we'll need some kind of ... hmm, time to head to Seattle.
#1390 Research EthicsI mean, it's not like we could just demand to see the code that's governing our lives. What right do we have to poke around in Facebook's private affairs like that?
#1391 DarknessThis was actually wish #406. Wish #2 was for him to lose the ability to remember that each new wish wasn't my first.
#1392 Dominant PlayersWhen Vera Menchik entered a 1929 tournament, a male competitor mocked her by suggesting that a special 'Vera Menchik Club' would be created for any player who lost to her. When the tournament began, he promptly became the first member of said club, and over the years it accumulated a large and illustrious roster.
#1393 Timeghost'Hello, Ghostbusters?' 'ooOOoooo people born years after that movie came out are having a second chiiiild right now ooOoooOoo'
#1394 Superm*nSee also: Spider-Man reboot in which he can produce several inches of web, doesn't need as much chalk powder on his hands when he goes rock climbing, and occasionally feels vaguely uneasy about situations.
#1395 Power CordIn this situation, gzip /dev/inside to deflate, then pipe the compressed air to /dev/input to clean your keyboard. Avert your eyes when you do.
#1396 ActorsOnce again topping the list of tonight's hottest rising stars in Hollywood is ξ Persei!
#1397 LukeDon't turn it on.
#1398 Snake FactsBiologically speaking, what we call a 'snake' is actually a human digestive tract which has escaped from its host.
#1399 ChaosAlthough the oral exam for the doctorate was just 'can you do that weird laugh?'
#1400 D.B. Cooper'Why on Earth would someone commit air piracy just to finance a terrible movie decades later?' 'People are very strange these days.'
#1401 NewThe nice thing about headcannnons is that it's really easy to get other people to believe in them.
#1402 HarpoonsTo motivate it to fire its harpoons hard enough, Rosetta's Philae lander has been programmed to believe it is trying to kill the comet.
#1403 Thesis DefenseMY RESULTS ARE A SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT ON THE STATE OF THE AAAAAAAAAAAART
#1404 Quantum Vacuum Virtual PlasmaI don't understand the things you do, and you therefore may represent an interaction with the quantum vacuum virtual plasma.
#1405 MeteorNo, only LAVA is called 'magma' while underground. Any other object underground is called 'lava'.
#1406 Universal Converter BoxComes with a 50-lb sack of gender changers, and also an add-on device with a voltage selector and a zillion circular center pin DC adapter tips so you can power any of those devices from the 90s.
#1407 Worst Hurricane'Finding a 105-year-old who's lived in each location and asking them which hurricane they think was the worst' is left as an exercise for the reader.
#1408 March of the PenguinsYou ARE getting older, though.
#1409 QuerySELECT * FROM GHOSTS
#1410 California58% of the state has gone into plaid.
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