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#2573 Alien Mission Fine, we can go search the Himalayas for the Yeti ONE more time, but keep a safe altitude over the Pacific and PLEASE watch where you're going. We can't afford another Amelia Earhart incident.
#2574 Autoresponder I ADMIRE HOW YOU SET BOUNDARIES AND I HOPE YOUR COLLEAGUES RESPECT THEM! PLEASE SPARE MY LIFE!
#2575 What If? 2 CLARIFICATION: By 9/13, I mean September 13th, not the 9th day of Jancember, the cursed 13th month that exists between December and January in the transdimensional temporal plane.
#2576 Control Group Placeble 228 x/6n⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜n⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜n⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜n⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜n⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜n⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
#2577 Sea Chase There are two rules on this ship: Never gaze back into the projection abyss, and never touch the red button labeled DYMAXION.
#2578 Sword Pull Merlin really shouldn't leave his dirt bike lying around.
#2579 Tractor Beam Did you base the saucer shape on pop culture depictions of aliens, or was that stuff based on your ships? Does the rotational symmetry help with ... hey, where are you going?
#2580 Rest and Fluids Remember not to take it easy. Put a hot washcloth on your forehead, remain standing, and breathe dry air while taking lots of histamines. You need to give your body a chance to get sick again.
#2581 Health Stats You will live on forever in our hearts, pushing a little extra blood toward our left hands now and then to give them a squeeze.
#2582 Data Trap It's important to make sure your analysis destroys as much information as it produces.
#2583 Chorded Keyboard And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the lord of song / with nothing on my tongue but 'I don't understand, I swear I backed up my keyboard config before messing with it'
#2584 Headline Words Roundly-condemned headlinese initiative shuttered indefinitely.
#2585 Rounding I've developed a novel propulsion system powered by loss of precision in unit conversion.
#2586 Greek Letters If you ever see someone using a capital xi in an equation, just observe them quietly to learn as much as you can before they return to their home planet.
#2587 For the Sake of Simplicity For the sake of simplicity, gardeners are assumed to move through Euclidean space--neglecting the distortion from general relativity--unless they are in the vicinity of a Schwarzschild Orchid.
#2588 Party Quadrants Single-elimination might provide more drama, but I think we can all agree that a comprehensive numerical scoring system will let us better judge the party's winner.
#2589 Outlet Denier There are regularly placed bumps on the underside just the right size to press the rocker switch on the power strip.
#2590 I Shouldn't Complain Bald-faced hornets are only a 2 on the Schmidt pain index, so I shouldn't complain. The tennis ball ejected from the dryer exhaust vent could have ricocheted off the nest of a much higher-scoring insect before knocking me off the ladder. Really, I'm lucky.
#2591 Qua Qua qua qua is the sine qua non of sine qua non qua sine qua non.
#2592 False Dichotomy There are two types of dichotomy: False dichotomies, true dichotomies, and surprise trichotomies.
#2593 Deviled Eggs The foil on the toothpick represents the blue flash.
#2594 Consensus Time Now, you may argue that the varying hour lengths and feedback effects would cause chaos. To which I say, yeah, and I'm also curious to see how the weekday cycle interacts with it! So, you in?
#2595 Advanced Techniques A blow from Emmy's Cutlass of Variations will transport the dragon to a corresponding symmetric position in the Noetherworld.
#2596 Galaxies I know it seems overwhelming, but don't worry; I'm sure most of them have only a few stars, and probably no planets.
#2597 Salary Negotiation "We can do 0.33 or 0.34, but our payroll software doesn't allow us to--" "NO DEAL."
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