xkcd
第59章 · #1463–#1487
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#1463 Altitude "TURN OFF THE LASER GUIDE STAR" "WHY" "STAR CATS"
#1464 Santa He probably just poops over the side of the sleigh.
#1465 xkcd Phone 2 Washable, though only once.
#1466 Phone Checking 'Where were you when you learned you'd won?' 'I was actually asleep; I woke up when I refreshed the webite and saw the news.'
#1467 Email My New Year's resolution for 2014-54-12/30/14 Dec:12:1420001642 is to learn these stupid time formatting strings.
#1468 Worrying If the breaking news is about an event at a hospital or a lab, move it all the way over to the right.
#1469 UV Hey, why stop at our house? We could burn down ALL these houses for the insurance money.
#1470 Kix My parents sent me to several years of intensive Kix test prep.
#1471 Gut Fauna I know it seems unpleasant, but of the two ways we typically transfer them, I promise this is the one you want.
#1472 Geography The place I'd least like to live is the farm in the background of those diagrams showing how tornadoes form.
#1473 Location Sharing Our phones must have great angular momentum sensors because the compasses really suck.
#1474 Screws If you encounter a hex bolt, but you only brought screwdrivers, you can try sandwiching the head of the bolt between two parallel screwdriver shafts, squeezing the screwdrivers together with a hand at either end, then twisting. It doesn't work and it's a great way to hurt yourself, but you can try it!
#1475 Technically "Technically that sentence started with 'well', so--" "Ooh, a rock with a fossil in it!"
#1476 Ceres Earth clearly hasn't been inspected, since it's definitely contaminated with salmonella.
#1477 Star Wars A long, long time (plus 40 years) ago, in a galaxy far, far away (plus a corrective factor involving the Hubble constant) ...
#1478 P-Values If all else fails, use "significant at a p>0.05 level" and hope no one notices.
#1479 Troubleshooting "Oh, you're using their Chrome APP, not their Chrome EXTENSION. They're very similar but one handles window creation differently." is a thing I hope I can stop saying soon.
#1480 Super Bowl My hobby: Pretending to miss the sarcasm when people show off their lack of interest in football by talking about 'sportsball' and acting excited to find someone else who's interested, then acting confused when they try to clarify.
#1481 API ACCESS LIMITS: Clients may maintain connections to the server for no more than 86,400 seconds per day. If you need additional time, you may contact IERS to file a request for up to one additional second.
#1482 #NowPlaying If you click on the post, it takes you to search results for the note on various online music stores.
#1483 Quotative Like God was like, "Let there be light," and there was light.
#1484 Apollo Speeches While our commitment to recycling initiatives has been unwavering, this is not a cost any of us should be expected to pay.
#1485 Friendship The only other Wikipedia vandalism that I would feel zero remorse about is editing the article on active US militia groups to replace "militia" with "fanclub".
#1486 Vacuum Do you think you could actually clean the living room at some point, though?
#1487 Tornado Nearby, there were also no injuries when a multi-vortex tornado hit one of those spinning teacup rides.
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