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#1308 Christmas Lights Merry Christmas from xkcd!
#1309 Infinite Scrolling Maybe we should give up on the whole idea of a 'back' button. 'Show me that thing I was looking at a moment ago' might just be too complicated an idea for the modern web.
#1310 Goldbach Conjectures The weak twin primes conjecture states that there are infinitely many pairs of primes. The strong twin primes conjecture states that every prime p has a twin prime (p+2), although (p+2) may not look prime at first. The tautological prime conjecture states that the tautological prime conjecture is true.
#1311 2014 Some future reader, who may see the term, without knowing the history of it, may imagine that it had reference to some antiquated bridge of the immortal Poet, thrown across the silver Avon, to facilitate his escape after some marauding excursion in a neighbouring park; and in some Gentleman's Magazine of the next century, it is not impossible, but that future antiquaries may occupy page after page in discussing so interesting a matter. We think it right, therefore, to put it on record in the Oriental Herald that the 'Shakesperian Rope Bridges' are of much less classic origin; that Mr Colin Shakespear, who, besides his dignity as Postmaster, now signs himself 'Superintendent General of Shakesperian Rope Bridges', is a person of much less genius than the Bard of Avon. --The Oriental Herald, 1825
#1312 Haskell The problem with Haskell is that it's a language built on lazy evaluation and nobody's actually called for it.
#1313 Regex Golf /bu|[rn]t|[coy]e|[mtg]a|j|iso|n[hl]|[ae]d|lev|sh|[lnd]i|[po]o|ls/ matches the last names of elected US presidents but not their opponents.![/bu|[rn]t|[coy]e|[mtg]a|j|iso|n[hl]|[ae]d|lev|sh|[lnd]i|[po]o|ls/ matches the last names of elected US presidents but not their opponents.](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1313/0.png)
#1314 Photos I hate when people take photos of their meal instead of eating it, because there's nothing I love more than the sound of other people chewing.
#1315 Questions for God What sins could possibly darken the heart of a STEAMBOAT? I asked The Shadow, but he says he only covers men.
#1316 Inexplicable 'It has a ghost in it. Take it back.' 'No.'
#1317 Theft Is he ALSO wondering at what point our thoughts diverged, if they even have yet? 'dude, I think he just took your credit card' AM I THE ORIGINAL? HOW DO I TELL?
#1318 Actually Protip: You can win every exchange just by being one level more precise than whoever talked last. Eventually, you'll defeat all conversational opponents and stand alone.
#1319 Automation 'Automating' comes from the roots 'auto-' meaning 'self-', and 'mating', meaning 'screwing'.
#1320 Walmart What I really want is to hang out where I hung out with my friends in college, but have all my older relatives there too.
#1321 Cold 'You see the same pattern all over. Take Detroit--' 'Hold on. Why do you know all these statistics offhand?' 'Oh, um, no idea. I definitely spend my evenings hanging out with friends, and not curating a REALLY NEAT database of temperature statistics. Because, pshh, who would want to do that, right? Also, snowfall records.'
#1322 Winter Stay warm, little flappers, and find lots of plant eggs!
#1323 Protocol Changing the names would be easier, but if you're not comfortable lying, try only making friends with people named Alice, Bob, Carol, etc.
#1324 Weather At least if you're really into, like, Turkish archaeology, store clerks aren't like 'hey, how 'bout those Derinkuyu underground cities!' when they're trying to be polite.
#1325 Rejection Perhaps you need a crash course in taking hints. Here's your first lesson: We're not actually walking somewhere together; I'm trying to leave this conversation and you're following me.
#1326 Sharks 'Now, minions, I'm off to inspect our shark cages.' 'Do you really need to inspect them this often?' 'PRISONERS MUST NEVER ESCAPE.'
#1327 Mobile Marketing We're firing you, but the online headline-writing division wants to hire you.
#1328 Update I have a bunch of things open right now.
#1329 Standing At first I was making fun of them, but joke's on me--the deer is surprisingly ergonomic, except for the kicks.
#1330 Kola Borehole Tonight's top story: Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, died in his home this morning at the age of [unintelligible rune]. Due to the large number of sharks inhabiting his former kingdom, no body could be recovered.![Tonight's top story: Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, died in his home this morning at the age of [unintelligible rune]. Due to the large number of sharks inhabiting his former kingdom, no body could be recovered.](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1330/0.png)
#1332 Slippery Slope Sure, taking a few seconds to be respectful toward someone about something they care about doesn't sound hard. But if you talk to hundreds of people every day and they all start expecting that same consideration, it could potentially add up to MINUTES wasted. And for WHAT?
#1333 First Date I sympathize with the TPP protagonist because I, too, have progressed through a surprising number of stages of life despite spending entire days stuck against simple obstacles.
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