#1792 Bird/Plane/SupermanYou can apply special translucent films to your windows to help keep birds/Superman from accidentally flying into them.
#1793 Soda Sugar ComparisonsThe key is portion control, which is why I've switched to eating smaller cans of frosting instead of full bottles.
#1794 FireBilly Joel briefly detained
#1795 All You Can EatAfter my absent-mindedness resulted in a bad posterboard-related stomachache, I learned to do the sign-making place last.
#1796 Focus KnobMaybe if I spin it back and forth really fast I can do some kind of pulse-width modulation.
#1797 Stardew ValleyI have accidentally watered virtually every person and object in Pelican Town.
#1798 Box PlotYou have to be careful doing this. Sometimes, when you push the whisker down, dynamite explodes.
#1799 Bad Map Projection: Time ZonesThis is probably the first projection in cartographic history that can be criticized for its disproportionate focus on Finland, Mongolia, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
#1800 Chess NotationI've decided to score all my conversations using chess win-loss notation. (??)
#1801 Decision ParalysisGood point--making no decision is itself a decision. So that's a THIRD option I have to research!
#1802 Phone[*disables social networking accounts*] [*social isolation increases*] Wait, why does this ALSO feel bad?
#1803 Location ReviewsGoogle and Yelp keep deleting my scathing reviews of the Mariana Trench, the Chernobyl reactor core, the jet stream, and the equator.
#1804 Video Content"So, like, sexy news videos?" "No, people have tried that--it's still just video content. We need to actually inform people THROUGH making out. I would call it 'Mouth Content,' but I think that's already the title of a Neil Cicierega album."
#1805 Unpublished DiscoveriesIf you must know, I'm currently researching how to save this emailed tax form as a regular PDF so I can print and sign it. Our work isn't a lock for the Nobel, but we're in the running.
#1806 Borrow Your LaptopIf used with software that could keep up, a scroll wheel mapped to send a stream of 'undo' and 'redo' events could be kind of cool.
#1807 ListeningSure, you could just ask, but this also takes care of the host gift thing.
#1808 HackingThe dump also contains a list of millions of prime factors, a 0-day Tamagotchi exploit, and a technique for getting gcc and bash to execute arbitrary code.
#1809 xkcd Phone 5The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks.
#1810 Chat SystemsI'm one of the few Instagram users who connects solely through the Unix 'talk' gateway.
#1811 Best-Tasting ColorsI recognize that chocolate is its own thing on which reasonable people may differ. Everything else here is objective fact.
#1812 Onboarding'So we just have a steady flow of metal piling up in our server room? Isn't that a problem?' 'Yeah, you should bring that up at our next bismuth meeting.'
#1813 Vomiting EmojiMy favorite might be U+1F609 U+1F93F WINKING FACE VOMITING.
#1814 Color Pattern♫ When the spacing is tight / And the difference is slight / That's a moiré ♫
#1815 FlagThere's a compromise bill to keep the notification bar but at least charge the battery.
#1816 MispronunciationI pronounce epitome "EPPY-tome", but EpiPen "uh-PIE-pen".
![[*disables social networking accounts*] [*social isolation increases*] Wait, why does this ALSO feel bad?](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/1802/0.png)
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