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#1867 Physics Confession "You know lightning, right? When electric charge builds up in a cloud and then discharges in a giant spark? Ask me why that happens." "Why does tha--" "No clue. We think it's related to the hair thing."
#1868 Eclipse Flights The captain has turned on the 'fasten seat belt' sign.
#1869 Positive and Negative Reviews This restaurant is great! I was feeling really sick, but then I ate there and felt better!
#1870 Emoji Movie Reviews There's this idea that emoji are bad for communication because they replace ambiguity and nuance with a limited set of preselected emotions, but it doesn't really survive a collision with real-world usage of the thinking face or upside-down smiley.
#1871 Bun Alert Since buns range from crepuscular to nocturnal, it's recommended that you enable the scheduled "Do Not Disturb" mode on your phone to avoid being woken by alerts about Night Buns.
#1872 Backup Batteries If it falls below 20% full, my bag turns red and I start to panic.
#1873 Email Reply I would be honored, but I know I don't belong in your network. The person you invited was someone who had not yet inflicted this two-year ordeal upon you. I'm no longer that person.
#1874 Geologic Faults I live on a torn-bag-of-potato-chips-where-the-tear-is-rapidly-growing fault, which is terrifying.
#1875 Computers vs Humans It's hard to train deep learning algorithms when most of the positive feedback they get is sarcastic.
#1876 Eclipse Searches There were traffic jams for the eclipses in 1970 and 1979, and that was *before* we had the potential for overnight viral social media frenzies.
#1877 Eclipse Science I was thinking of observing stars to verify Einstein's theory of relativity again, but I gotta say, that thing is looking pretty solid at this point.
#1878 Earth Orbital Diagram You shouldn't look directly at a partial eclipse because of the damage that can be caused by improperly aligning the solar-lunar orbital plane with the orbital bones around your eye.
#1879 Eclipse Birds 'Hey! Put her down!' 'No, it's ok! The next chance for me to be carried to a blood cauldron isn't until 2024!'
#1880 Eclipse Review I watched from a beautiful nature reserve in central Missouri, and it was--without exaggeration--the coolest thing I've ever seen.
#1881 Drone Training The joke will be on him in a few weeks when animal control shows up and takes custody of his Roomba.
#1882 Color Models What if what *I* see as blue, *you* see as a slightly different blue because you're using Chrome instead of Firefox and despite a decade of messing with profiles we STILL can't get this right somehow.
#1883 Supervillain Plan Someday, some big historical event will happen during the DST changeover, and all the tick-tock articles chronicling how it unfolded will have to include a really annoying explanation next to their timelines.
#1884 Ringer Volume/Media Volume Our new video ad campaign has our product's name shouted in the first 500 milliseconds, so we can reach the people in adjacent rooms while the viewer is still turning down the volume.
#1885 Ensemble Model I'm in talks with Netflix to produce an alternate-universe crime drama about the world where sliced bread was never re-legalized, but it's going slowly because they keep changing their phone numbers and the door lock codes at their headquarters.
#1886 Typing Notifications Over the years I've decided I'd rather have them on than not, but I'm glad there aren't "has opened a blank note to compose a reply to you" notifications.
#1887 Two Down, One to Go The third row will probably have to wait until 2034, and maybe longer. If I see a daytime supernova, I'll replace the meteor storm with that and consider it 3/3.
#1888 Still in Use 'Which one?' 'I dunno, it's your house. Just check each object.' 'Check it for *what*?' 'Whether it looks like it might have touched a paper towel at some point and then forgotten to let go.' '...' 'You can also Google to learn how to check which things are using which resources.' 'You know, I'll just leave the towel there and try again tomorrow.'
#1889 xkcd Phone 6 We understand your privacy concerns; be assured that our phones will never store or transmit images of your face.
#1890 What to Bring I always figured you should never bring a gun to a gun fight because then you'll be part of a gun fight.
#1891 Obsolete Technology And I can't believe some places still use fax machines. The electrical signals waste so much time going AROUND the Earth when neutrino beams can go straight through!
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