#2699 Feature ComparisonBelow the Web, and the Dark Web, a shadowy parallel world of Cybiko users trade messages on the Translucent Neon Plastic Web.
#2700 Account ProblemsMy password is just every Unicode codepoint concatenated into a single UTF-8 string.
#2701 Change in SlopeSquinting at a graph is fine for getting a rough idea of the answer, but if you want to pretend to know it exactly, you need statistics.
#2702 What If 2 Gift GuideBABIES OR LITERATURE BUT NOT BOTH: Baby shoes
#2703 Paper TitleCONFLICT OF INTEREST STATEMENT: The authors hope these results are correct because we all want to be cool people who are good at science.
#2704 FaucetIt's okay, they can figure out which control positions produce scalding water via a trial-and-error feedback loop with a barely-perceptible 10-second lag.
#2705 Spacetime SoccerSpacetime Soccer, known outside the United States as '4D Football' is a now-defunct sport. Infamous for referee decisions hinging on inconsistent definitions of simultaneity, it is also known for the disappearance of many top players during... [more]
#2706 BendySquaring the circle is really easy with some good clamps.
#2707 Astronomy NumbersI adopted a cat that weighs 12 solar masses. Laser pointers love chasing it.
#2708 Mystery Asterisk DestinationIf you ever see the † dagger symbol with no unmatched footnote, it means the writer is saying the phrase while threatening you with a dagger.
#2709 Solar System ModelThe Earth is, on average, located in the habitable zone, but at any given time it has a certain probability of being outside it, which is why life exists on Earth but is mortal.
#2710 Hydropower BreakthroughA hydroelectric dam is also known as a heavy water reactor.
#2711 Optimal BowlingIf you want to bowl a strike, the optimal place is almost certainly inside a bowling alley, although with a little luck any establishment uphill from one could also work.
#2713 Data PointIn general you should only include your single best data point in the paper. The rest of the data can go in the supplementary materials.
#2714 Cold ComplaintsOur investigation into whining-based remedies became the first study to be halted by the IRB on the grounds that the treatment group was 'too annoying.'
#2715 PandoThe presents under the tree are actually a single gift connected by an underground ribbon system.
#2716 Game Night OrderingOne good trick, if you get called on a fake service, is to build a working version of it and mention it again the next week.
#2717 L6 Lagrange PointIt's difficult to orbit L6 stably due to gravitational perturbation from Akron and Toledo.
#2718 New Year's Eve Party[Earlier, at the eye doctor] 'No, for the last time, the numerals on the paper aren't my prescription, it's the shape I want you to make with the laser.'
#2719 Hydrogen IsotopesOops, All Neutrons is also known as Neutral Quadrium, Nydnonen, and Goth Tritium.
#2720 Biology vs RoboticsSorry, I've just always had these random things I don't like--like olives, or robots drilling holes in me without warning.
#2721 Euler DiagramsThings Leonhard Euler created ( most of math ( overlapping circle diagrams ) a cricket bowling machine ) Things John Venn created
#2722 EtymonlineNOTE TO FUTURE ETYMONLINGUISTS: Our best guess is that 'blimp' is onomatopoeia. The 'B-Limp' thing is a folk etymology.
#2723 Outdated Periodic TableResearchers claim to have synthesized six additional elements in the second row, temporarily named 'pentium' through 'unnilium'.
#2724 Washing Machine SettingsI guess the engineers who built my dishwasher MIGHT have some insight into how to load it, but instead of reading the booklet they gave me, it seems easier to experiment for years and then get in arguments so heated that I get banned from Quora.
![Spacetime Soccer, known outside the United States as '4D Football' is a now-defunct sport. Infamous for referee decisions hinging on inconsistent definitions of simultaneity, it is also known for the disappearance of many top players during... [more]](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/2705/0.png)
![[Earlier, at the eye doctor] 'No, for the last time, the numerals on the paper aren't my prescription, it's the shape I want you to make with the laser.'](https://img.comicstation.store/comics/xkcd/2718/0.png)
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