#1565 Back SeatHang on, let me scare the live raccoon over to the same side as the dead one.
#1566 Board GameYes, it took a lot of work to make the cards and pieces, but it's worth it--the players are way more thorough than the tax prep people ever were.
#1567 Kitchen TipsHousehold tip: Tired of buying so much toilet paper? Try unspooling the paper from the roll before using it. A single roll can last for multiple days that way, and it's much easier on your plumbing.
#1568 Synonym Movies 2There's also the TV show based on the hit Hot and Cold Music books: Fun With Chairs, Royal Rumble, Knife Blizzard, Breakfast for Birds, and Samba Serpents.
#1569 Magic TreeSince people rarely try to cut down cell phone towers, after millions of years, as cell phone towers have gotten more treelike, trees have started growing fake cell phone tower attachments and shiny gray bark to protect themselves. This is a standard textbook example of convergent evolution.
#1570 Engineer SyllogismThe less common, even worse outcome: "3: [everyone in the financial system] WOW, where did all my money just go?"
#1571 Car Model NamesCLIMAX is good, but SEXCLIMAX is even better.
#1572 xkcd SurveyThe xkcd Survey: Big Data for a Big Planet
#1573 CyberintelligenceWe had gathered that raw information, but had yet to put it all together.
#1574 Trouble for ScienceCareful mathematical analysis demonstrates small-scale irregularities in Gaussian distribution
#1575 Footprints"There's one set of foot-p's cause I was totes carrying you, bro!" said Jesus seconds before I punched him.
#1576 I Could Care LessI literally could care less.
#1577 AdventThe few dozen doors that have little Christmas trees on them are a nice touch.
#1578 SquirrelphoneAfter a while, the squirrel starts making that beeping noise and doesn't stop until it hops back up onto the stump.
#1579 Tech LoopsAnd when I think about it, a lot of "things I want to do" are just learning about and discussing new tools for tinkering with the chain.
#1580 Travel GhostAnd a different ghost has replaced me in the bedroom.
#1581 BirthdayI guess I need to apologize to my parents, friends, and the staff at Chuck E. Cheese's for all the times I called the cops on them.
#1582 Picture a Grassy FieldWait, I can fix this. Picture another field. In the middle sits the only creature the first creature is afraid of. Now just-- wait, where did THAT one go?
#1583 NASA Press ConferenceWhy are we spending billions to ruin Mars with swarms of robots when Elon Musk has promised to ruin Mars for a FRACTION of the cost?
#1584 Moments of InspirationCharles, I just talked to John and Mildred, who run that company selling seeds and nuts, and their kids with MOUTHS are starving!
#1585 SimilaritiesI just came from The Martian, and I just have to say: Forget BB-8; I want a pet Sojourner! It's always been the cutest of our Mars rovers.
#1586 Keyboard ProblemsIn the future, a group of resistance fighters send me back in time with instructions to find the Skynet prototype and try to upgrade it.
#1587 Food RuleI won't eat invertebrates, because I can fight a skeleton, but I have no idea what kind of spooky warrior a squid leaves behind.
#1588 Hardware ReductionismMy MRI research shows a clear correlation between the size of the parietal lobe--the part of the brain that handles spatial reasoning--and enjoyment of 3D Doritos®.
#1589 Frankenstein"Wait, so in this version is Frankenstein also the doctor's name?" "No, he's just 'The Doctor'."
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